What is the biblical process for removing an unrepentant church member?

Removing someone from church membership is never meant to be an abrupt decision made in a single meeting. Jesus gave his followers a clear, deliberate process for confronting sin within the church, one designed to give every reasonable opportunity for repentance and reconciliation before the most serious step is ever taken (Matthew 18:15-17). Skipping steps, whether out of impatience or conflict avoidance, misses the wisdom and love built into the process itself.

It's worth noting where this teaching sits in Matthew's Gospel. Just before Jesus lays out this process, he tells the parable of a shepherd who leaves ninety-nine sheep to search for the one that wandered off, rejoicing more over that one recovered sheep than over the ninety-nine who never strayed, and stating plainly that it is not the will of the Father that one of these little ones should perish (Matthew 18:12-14). The process for confronting sin, and if necessary removing an unrepentant member, isn't introduced as a tool for protecting institutional order; it is introduced as an expression of that very same shepherding heart, a costly, patient pursuit of a wandering sheep before any final step is ever taken.

Not every offense or disagreement calls for this four-step process. Scripture also instructs believers to overlook minor offenses in love rather than escalating every irritation into a confrontation, since love covers a multitude of sins and good sense makes a person slow to anger, overlooking an offense as his glory (Proverbs 19:11; 1 Peter 4:8). Matthew 18 is aimed at serious, identifiable sin, not personality clashes, differences in preference, or the ordinary friction of imperfect people living in close relationship.

The pattern Paul applies in 1 Corinthians 5 helps clarify the category further: unrepentant, ongoing behavior that Scripture names as sin, sexual immorality, greed pursued without any effort to change, idolatry, slander, drunkenness, swindling, especially when the person continues defiantly rather than showing any grief or willingness to change (1 Corinthians 5:9-11). Wisdom, along with input from mature, godly counsel, is usually needed to discern whether a specific situation calls for this formal process or simply calls for grace, patience, and private forgiveness.

The process begins one on one. If a brother or sister sins, Jesus says, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone (Matthew 18:15). This first step protects the person's reputation, avoids unnecessary public embarrassment, and gives the best possible chance of quiet, quick reconciliation, since Jesus says plainly that if the person listens at this stage, you have gained your brother. Most sin, addressed this way, never needs to go any further.

If the private conversation doesn't lead to repentance, Jesus instructs bringing one or two others along, so that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses (Matthew 18:16, echoing Deuteronomy 19:15). This step isn't about ganging up on the person; it adds wise, objective perspective, confirms the situation is being read accurately, and shows the person that the concern isn't merely one individual's perception.

If the person still refuses to repent, Jesus says to tell it to the church (Matthew 18:17), typically meaning the leadership and, in most traditions, eventually the broader congregation. This step raises the seriousness considerably; it moves the matter from private concern to a matter the whole body has some responsibility to know about and pray into, following Paul's instruction that the church should be informed and involved when sin is left unaddressed (1 Corinthians 5:1-2).

If the person refuses to repent even after being addressed by the whole church, Jesus' final instruction is to let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector (Matthew 18:17), language meaning they are treated as outside the fellowship and membership of the church, no longer welcomed to the Lord's Table or the privileges of membership, though certainly still someone to pray for and, notably, someone Jesus himself pursued relentlessly in his earthly ministry (Luke 15:1-2; Luke 19:1-10).

Every stage of this process is designed to maximize the chance of repentance and minimize unnecessary harm, moving slowly and carefully rather than rushing to judgment. A church that skips straight to public exposure without private conversation, or that never moves to any real accountability regardless of how long sin persists, has departed from the pattern Jesus gave just as surely as one that removes someone too hastily. The goal, at every step, is to gain your brother or sister back, not to win an argument or protect an institution's reputation (Galatians 6:1; James 5:19-20).

This process is also easy to abuse in the opposite direction, weaponized to settle personal grudges, silence disagreement over secondary matters, or punish someone leadership simply finds difficult, none of which reflects the restorative spirit Jesus modeled. Elders applying this process well move slowly, seek outside counsel when uncertain, document each step honestly, and examine their own hearts for pride or personal offense before ever moving toward the more public stages, mindful of Paul's specific warning to those doing the restoring to watch themselves, lest they too be tempted (Galatians 6:1).